Iran and Israel will put a dollar in the jar every time one of them launches a missile.

Middle East: In an effort to ease tensions between Iran and Israel, the UN has proposed that each time either of them launches a missile, they deposit a dollar into a specially designed jar.

" We realized that both countries are fighting simply because they can't control their anger, but now that they have to pay, let's see if they continue to do so," declared the secretary general of the helpful organization.

Good summary of the Israel-Iran war pic.twitter.com/8wCcw7YmXU

— UBERSOY (@UBERSOY1) June 21, 2025

Israel will think twice before launching ultrasonic missiles

The agreement was promoted by Switzerland, Portugal, and a group of aunts who had grown tired of sending prayer chains on WhatsApp. It states that every attack, swear word, or flying drone will be punished with a symbolic contribution to the so-called "Sanity Fund."

The vial will be placed in the city of Damascus, which lies roughly halfway between the two countries, so an emissary from each nation will have to go and deposit the bill if their government launches a missile.

The initiative, which has already been described as "an unprecedented, historic effort," is intended to reduce tensions in the region while creating a savings fund for a possible apocalypse.

“It ’s a start, although we think we’ll need a water tank instead of a jar,” acknowledged the Turkish representative, watching the container fill rapidly.

Meanwhile, to avoid temptations for passing pilgrims, the jar will be guarded by a neutral group of Tibetan monks, two Swedish volunteers they inherited, and a retired Mexican wrestler.

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