Ten years of reconstruction for victims of the 2015 Paris attacks.

Ten years after surviving the worst jihadist attack in Paris, Eva considers this tragedy "part" of her and, for the first time, breaks her silence to recount how she is trying to overcome this attack that deeply affected French society.

That Friday night, November 13, 2015, she was celebrating her best friend's birthday. She was smoking on the terrace with three friends when jihadists opened fire on the restaurant, killing 21 people.

He still remembers the “terrifying silence” between the shots. He received multiple bullet impacts on the left side of his body, including his foot. They had to amputate his leg below the knee and he was left with a “huge scar” on his arm.

“Ten years have passed, it’s part of me,” says the 35-year-old woman, who prefers not to reveal her last name.

That night, commandos from the jihadist group Islamic State killed 130 people in a concert hall, restaurants and bars in the French capital, and near a football stadium in neighboring Saint-Denis.

The attacks deeply shocked France, which is holding several ceremonies on Thursday to honor the victims.

With a prosthetic leg, Eva assures that she is "doing very well." But "life isn't easy every day," she emphasizes.

In the summer (in the north), she still feels the stares of strangers on the scar on her arm. She considered undergoing reconstructive surgery, but "it's complicated on black skin," she adds.

And although he will continue to frequent bars, he will "never again" turn his back on the street.

- Fear -

For some survivors and relatives of the victims, the anniversary of the attacks only revives the fear.

“He is after us,” says Bilal Mokono, who is around 50 years old and in a wheelchair after being injured by a suicide attack near the Stade de France.

From his home on the outskirts of Paris, he says that since then he has been "sleeping poorly." After the attack, he lost the use of his legs and his left ear. And his right arm remains "very fragile."

The only person who died in the attack was Manuel Dias, 63. His daughter, Sophie Dias, fears that the memory of this "only father" will be lost.

“We feel his absence every day (…) It’s important to celebrate the tenth anniversary,” he explains.

Not everyone shares his point of view. Fabien Petit hopes people will move on. His brother-in-law, Nicolas Degenhardt, died at age 37 in the Bonne Bière café along with four other people.

“We cannot keep reliving November 13th repeatedly,” points out this man, who claims to feel “better” after being tormented for a while by “dark thoughts.”

He still gets emotional when he remembers the tragedy, but "the trial helped him." The trial, which lasted ten months between 2021 and 2022, concluded with the life sentence of the only surviving member of the perpetrators, Salah Abdeslam.

– “The sound of those machine guns” –

Aurélie Silvestre, whose partner, Matthieu Giroud, died at the Bataclan along with 89 other people, recounted the case in a book.

“I feel that writing allows me to gather some of the pieces and put them back together,” she says. When she lost her partner, Silvestre was pregnant.

"Given the circumstances, I'm doing well, very well, but of course it's not easy. I'm raising two children alone whose father was murdered," she added.

Some survived the attacks, but not their consequences.

Chemist Guillaume Valette and comic book author Fred Dewilde struggled for years with psychological wounds before taking their own lives.

“I will never forget the sound of those machine guns,” Valette had confided to his parents, Arlette and Alain Valette. They still remember their son's words eight years after his death. He had “lost his smile,” his father told AFP.

After his death, his parents fought to have their son recognized as victim number 131. His name is now engraved on the November 13th commemorative plaques, alongside that of Dewilde, who died in 2024.

Resources for treating psychological trauma in France have improved since 2015, according to psychiatrist Thierry Baubet, but are still limited in some regions.

“There are victims of the November 13 attacks who continue to suffer and have not sought help,” he tells AFP, pointing out that a common obstacle is “the fear of not being understood.”

But "it's never too late," he emphasizes.

– “You will always feel alone” –

When Lola, Eric Ouzounian's 17-year-old daughter, died at the Bataclan, a therapist warned him: "You'll never get over this and you'll always feel alone."

“Ten years later, this remains true. You never recover from the loss of a child,” says the 60-year-old journalist, while drinking coffee and smoking a cigarette.

In 2015, he refused to participate in the tribute in Paris and wrote an article in which he criticized the State for its internal policies that had created "zones of despair."

Living conditions in these neighborhoods, from which some jihadists came, have not improved since then, and the authorities continue to "disregard" the residents, he stated.

According to historian Denis Peschanski, as the years go by, the French are becoming increasingly unable to list the locations where the attacks took place. The Bataclan remains the most well-known, but there were many others.

Roman, a survivor of the attack on the La Belle Équipe restaurant, decided to speak out so that people don't only remember the massacre at the concert venue.

“Sometimes we feel forgotten,” says this 34-year-old man, who prefers not to reveal his last name.

A few years after the attack, he decided to become a teacher: “Teaching history and geography was important, not only to prevent this from happening again, but also to pass on to young people what happened to us.”

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