Seven signs someone is pretending to be your friend, according to a psychologist

There's a well-known saying that goes, "He who has a friend has a treasure," but sometimes, those we think are our friends are toxic people who can really hurt us.

How can you spot these people? Psychologist Silvia Severino , who shares advice on TikTok as @silviaseverinopsico, has shared seven signs to detect when someone is pretending to be your friend.

He constantly flatters you

The psychologist identifies the first sign as constant compliments, whether about physical appearance or personality . While it's natural for a friend to love us and express it, if they do so excessively, they could be doing so to hide their true intentions.

It's only there in the good times

A false friend only appears in the good times, when true friendship should be there even in the bad times. It should be there to celebrate triumphs and enjoy happy moments, as well as to be there in the sad times.

He doesn't know how to keep secrets

One of the greatest signs of loyalty is knowing how to keep a secret, protecting a friend's intimacies as if they were your own. Someone who tells secrets isn't a true friend.

Compete with you

The fourth sign that a friendship is fake lies in the dynamics of the relationship. One of the psychologist's tricks for detecting if someone is pretending to be your friend is that they compete with you. She claims that this is when "friendship turns into rivalry."

Change your personality

Many people find that their personality changes depending on the group they belong to. This in itself isn't negative, unless it changes the way they treat others. The psychologist adds: "They may be kind to you, but cold to others."

He emotionally blackmails you

Guilt is one of the oldest and most effective tools for emotionally blackmailing someone. A false friend "uses guilt to manipulate you," says Severino. Sometimes it can go unnoticed, but it shows in phrases like, "If you were my friend, you would do this for me."

He talks badly about you behind your back

The last sign, and perhaps one of the clearest, is that "they talk badly about you behind your back," says the professional. A true friend criticizes you constructively, in person, with love and respect. However, if they're a false friend, "what they say doesn't match what they show in private."