Trump Really Thinks There Are Shadowy Vandals Trying to Destroy the Already Botched Reflecting Pool

The events along the shores of Lake Dementia on the National Mall continue to challenge all our limits for the absurd. From KOMO-TV:

Six people have now been arrested and seven others were cited for alleged damages to the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool, according to President Donald Trump on Tuesday. The damage includes slashes extending across at least 350 feet of the pool, which Trump said were made by either “a very sharp knife or razors.”

The president, of course, is On the Case.

Six people have been arrested, and seven people have been cited, for the damage they did to our Country’s now beautiful Reflecting Pool. The 350 foot gash, made by a very sharp knife or razors, is actually numerous slashes over a very long 350 foot length. It was purposefully and criminally done, and somebody had to work very hard, probably in the dark of night, to create such a condition. Likewise, the small area at the bottom of the Pool was cut and powerfully lifted off the surface leaving very jagged, uneven edges. The large areas of grass are being replaced. In any event, even prior to fixing those areas, the Reflecting Pool is as beautiful as it can be. We will drain some of the water, either immediately before or after the Fourth of July, to do the permanent repair. President DONALD J. TRUMP

The president mysteriously fails to mention that all this alleged damage had to have been done underwater. So this is the very plausible scenario he is presenting against the likelihood that the people he hired to do this completely unnecessary job simply screwed the pooch the way no-bid cronies will.

(The president’s case is not helped by the fact that the crony who was hired looks very much like he wandered into town from a Thomas Nast cartoon.)

The vandals showed up at night carrying several pounds of diving gear while eluding all the surveillance equipment covering the mall. They then hooked up the tanks, plunged to the bottom of the pool, and carved it up like the Christmas goose. Once done, they reversed the entire process and slipped away in the night, leaving a whole raft of evidence floating behind them. And now, over on social media, dozens of people are claiming to believe this fairy tale simply because an addled octogenarian hates all the people and things they hate too.