May 10th is not always a day to celebrate

May 10th is often painted with flowers, breakfasts in bed, and embroidered phrases of gratitude, in honor of Mother's Day . But there are mothers who wake up that day with a lump in their throat, wondering if it's okay not to feel joyful, if it's valid to want silence instead of celebration.

"I didn't feel like being congratulated. I miss my son, and that can't be covered by cakes or other people's congratulations." says Norma, a mother who lost her only son in an accident three years ago. Like her, many women experience Mother's Day with mixed emotions: guilt for not being "happy," sadness for broken relationships, grief for lost children, or simply exhaustion.

Motherhood is deeply idealized in our culture . We've been told that being a mother is the most beautiful thing in the world, that it's about unconditional love, about complete dedication. But little is said about the darker side: loneliness, frustration, renunciation, fear .

Laura Sánchez, mother of two young teenagers, confesses that May 10 weighs on her a little: "I receive gifts from school, but Sometimes I feel invisible at home. My children already have their social lives, school... and they rarely ask if I'm okay. "Sometimes I just seem like their chauffeur or errand girl, and it makes me want to cry just thinking that I can't handle it all," she admits, somewhat distressed.

Then there are the mothers who raise their children far from their own, due to migration or work. Those who have children who don't speak to them, those who regret having been mothers and don't dare to say so. Those who struggle with mental illness or poverty that make motherhood feel like a battlefield.

As psychologist Laura Gutman points out in her book, "Motherhood and the Encounter with One's Own Shadow," "the idealization of motherhood silences the real suffering of many women ."

Feeling sad or overwhelmed, and a mother's love isn't measured in parties or flowers. Recognizing one's own limits and seeking help is also love.

Psychiatrist Alexandra Sacks, a maternal mental health specialist, writes: "Becoming a mother involves a profound psychological transformation, a kind of inner revolution. You're not broken, you're simply changing." , defines in her book "What Nobody Tells You; A Guide to Your Emotions, from Pregnancy to Motherhood."

For those who identify with this, there are other resources that can be beacons in the fog, such as the book "Regretting Mothers" by Orna Donath, which, although provocative, offers an honest and non-judgmental look at emotions that many hide.

And the film "Tully" (2018), starring Charlize Theron, which portrays with rawness and compassion the experience of postpartum depression and the emotional exhaustion that many mothers go through.

Perhaps this day, for many, is not about celebrating, but about accompanying and listening to our mothers, friends, or ourselves.

THE DATA

There are support lines like SAPTEL (800 472 7835), the Citizens' Council's Remote Psychological Support Service, which provides free emotional support 24/7. Talking to someone always helps.

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