I'm worried I'll be a burden to my children if I need care in my old age... but also want to help them onto the property ladder

It's a dilemma for many across the country. Parents want to help their adult children onto the property ladder or with other life milestones, but also don't want to become a burden on them in old age.

With care costs rocketing, finding the balance between the two is becoming increasingly difficult.

For 60-year-old Janie, there was never any doubt that she wanted to make sure her children had the best future they can.

She told This is Money: 'Like most parents, I want to give my children what support I can.

'For me, that means helping them get onto the property ladder and moving up it as their families grow.

'Childcare is also really expensive, often young families have little choice in the matter and both parents have to work.'

She adds: 'It's so much harder for younger generations than it was for us: rents are sky-high, and saving for a deposit while also paying rent can feel impossible.'

'I think Gen Z can feel the system is stacked against them.'

Her comments come as half of people say they would like to help their family members financially but are concerned about funding their living costs later in life, according to data from Octopus Money.

Specifically, 45 per cent of people said the reason they are choosing to hold their money back instead of gifting it is to ensure that they can cover care costs in later life.

At the same time, however, the cost of later life care is spiralling, and more people than ever will find themselves needing to work out how they can afford to secure their own futures, let alone those of their children.

Care home costs can vary wildly, but will often see care-seekers paying out hundreds per week, and in some cases well over £1,000.

One in seven independent nursing homes now charge more than £1,800 per week, figures from LaingBuisson show.

The average yearly cost, according to Octopus Money, is £80,000.

People with assets worth more than £23,250 have to fully fund their own care, and others will have to contribute to their care costs unless their assets are worth less than £14,250. These thresholds were set back in 2010.

As a result of this, older people often need considerable sums to fund later life care, especially if they face being in care for a long period of time.

This means that many older people are choosing to hold on to their money, with 67 per cent of adults planning to make gifts saying they would like to give more but are worried about their future expenses.

Some 60 per cent of those planning to make gifts said they are setting money aside for care costs.

While helping her children is one of her main priorities, Janie says she also worries that she could end up burdening them if she needs care in her old age, and as a result has changed the way she manages her money.

She said: 'For the first time, I'm learning how to make my money really work for me.

'I've started investing, something I had never done before. I've opened a stocks and shares Isa and, while I used to be very risk-averse, I'm now much more comfortable after having everything explained clearly.

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'I also make the most of my annual Isa allowance and keep money aside regularly in a savings account.

'Alongside that, I've built up multiple income streams - I currently work across four jobs, including my own divorce coaching business, which is giving me more security and independence.'

Janie added: 'I don't plan on retiring any time soon, and by combining earning, saving and investing, I increasingly feel more able to help my children while also securing my own future in the hope that I will not burden them when I'm old and falling apart.'

Taking financial advice, Janie says, has helped to understand understand the risks of investing, but also the benefits of doing so.

She said: 'Speaking to [my adviser] has helped me understand that risk doesn't have to be frightening if you're informed and making decisions that suit your circumstances.

'I've gone from metaphorically keeping money under the bed to actually investing it, and now I feel more like I'm in control of my finances.'

Kristian Manton, chartered financial adviser at Octopus Money, said: 'Pensions remain the most accessible source of funds for paying care fees and, outside of property, they are typically people's largest asset. Immediate needs annuities can also help.

'But increasingly, families are having to sell property to fund care, and without proper planning, these costs can quickly eat into inheritances, leaving the next generation with far less than expected.'

This comes at a time when younger generations say they are increasingly reliant on receiving financial help and a future inheritance from their parents in order to pay for life's big milestones.

As many as 60 per cent of Gen Z and 56 per cent of millennials who are set to receive gifts or an inheritance say they are relying on them in order to meet their life goals, including half who say they need them to buy a home.

According to Hargreaves Lansdown, 32 per cent of people say they need an inheritance to fund their retirement.

Manton added: 'We can see the great wealth transfer on the horizon, but it's not all rosy for younger generations - we're actually looking at a perfect storm of uncertainty if families don't talk to each other about what they are planning to gift, and what they might leave in their will.'

Are you worried about the cost of care? [email protected]