The "Help me" gesture can save a life. Victims of violence don't scream—they show their hand.

It only takes a few seconds. An open palm, a bent thumb, a clenched fist. This simple movement is the international sign for help. You don't make a sound, you don't have to speak or write. But the message is clear: "Help me." This very gesture once again saved the life of a woman who was a victim of domestic violence.

In late August, at a 7-Eleven in Alhambra, California, a bystander noticed what might have seemed like a simple hand gesture. The woman standing next to the man didn't say anything, but behind him, she made a gesture of help : an open palm, thumb tucked in, and then closed her hand into a fist.

That was enough. The witness kept his composure and called the police. Officers arrived at the scene and spoke with the couple. The man, 38-year-old John Palombi, tried to flee, but to no avail. He was already wanted and had a stun gun on him. He was arrested and jailed. The hearing is scheduled for September 11th.

This seemingly insignificant gesture saved the woman. It wasn't the first time, and unfortunately, it won't be the last.

The gesture was created during the pandemic, when many people were experiencing violence behind closed doors. It was designed to be performed discreetly – during a video call, through a window, in front of a courier, in a store . No need to say anything. A gesture is enough.

• An open hand directed towards the recipient

• Bent thumb placed in the middle of the palm

• Closing the fingers into a fist, hiding the thumb

That's all.

Services around the world are familiar with this sign. Women's organizations and psychologists promote its awareness. But despite this, too many people still don't recognize it.

In February of this year, a similar sign made by a Polish woman saved her from her attacker. She was being held captive in a basement by her partner, a 45-year-old Italian. When police arrived after a tip from neighbors, the woman made the sign. This allowed the officers to understand they were dealing with a victim, not a party in a "domestic dispute." The man was sent to prison, and the woman to a shelter.

This is further proof that this gesture works . If we can recognize it.

Above all, do not react violently.

Don't let on that you understand the signal. This could expose the victim to retaliation from the perpetrator. Act naturally. Hang up, end the call, and immediately call 112. Tell the operator that the person has made a gesture of help and describe the situation in as much detail as possible. This could save a life.

Because violence doesn't look like it does in the movies . It's not always bruises, screams, or broken teeth. Sometimes it's silent control, blackmail, economic dependence, coercion. Violence often occurs in homes that, from the outside, appear... normal.

In such a reality, a simple gesture may be the last hope . That's why we teach children road signs, and we also teach adults the rescue sign .

You don't have to be a psychologist or a police officer to help. You just have to know what to look for .

Victims of violence can't always call. They don't always have a phone. Sometimes the only connection is your gaze—and your reaction.

As we read on the Nowy Sącz Police website:

Due to amendments to the Act on Counteracting Domestic Violence and certain other acts, police officers have the power, among other things, to issue an order requiring a perpetrator to immediately vacate a home shared with the victim and to issue a restraining order prohibiting them from approaching the victim and their home. Thanks to the amendment of August 15th of this year, protection for victims of domestic violence has been further strengthened. The Police and Military Police (if the perpetrator is a professional soldier) have been granted the authority to, among other things, issue restraining orders prohibiting the perpetrator from approaching the victim within a specified distance of meters, prohibiting contact with the victim via remote means of communication (email, telephone, instant messaging, etc.), and prohibiting them from entering or remaining in specific places, such as workplaces, schools, or sports facilities attended by the victim or their children.

In a situation where immediate action and assistance from others are needed, you can use a discreet gesture, the international "Help Me" sign. This gesture is simple: Show your open palm, then make a fist with your thumb tucked in. Anyone who sees this gesture should discreetly contact the police by calling the emergency number 112 and inform them that someone has requested help in this way.

If you are experiencing domestic violence or know someone who is and you want to help them, here you will find information on what to do to stop this situation: https://www.gov.pl/web/sprawiedliwosc/przeciwdzialanie-przemocy-domowej