The Crime Scandal Ensnaring a Former NBA Player and Rocking the Sports World, Explained in Detail

Sometimes, a public affairs officer at the Department of Justice gets to reach deep into their bag and write a press release with some literary flourish. Wednesday's announcement from the US Attorney's Office for the Central District of California is one such case: “Former NBA Star, Suspected Israeli Crime Figure Arrested on Federal Indictment Alleging High-Stakes Illegal Poker Games at Encino Mansion.”

First things first: Everyone is innocent until proven guilty. Nobody should prejudge the outcome of this action. But if you haven't clicked that link or read the news yet, I want you to stop and think about which “former NBA star” is most likely the one referred to in this announcement. Think about it for three or four more seconds. Okay. It turns out you were right on the money: It's Gilbert Arenas. If you're not an NBA person and have no idea what I'm talking about, don't worry: I have all the answers below about the development that is blowing the minds of all the ESPN-pilled people in your life.

What do the feds say Gilbert Arenas did?

I'll let them tell you. “Arenas, 43, aka 'Agent Zero,' of Woodland Hills, is charged with one count of conspiracy to operate an illegal gambling business, one count of operating an illegal gambling business, and one count of making false statements to federal investigators.”

Again with the literary panache! Someone saw an opportunity to refer to Arenas by his NBA nickname, which stuck when he wore No. 0 for the Wizards in the 2000s, and they took it. Arenas is in fact referred to as “Agent Zero” throughout the actual filing .

In more detail, Arenas is accused of putting on a very, very, very high-rolling poker game at his mansion, in contravention of laws saying that you are not supposed to do that. Arenas owned the mansion, and the feds said he rented it out to a guy who staged the house for poker and collected money for him.

The more granular details of the operation do not seem to have fallen to Arenas. A different alleged co-conspirator is accused of hiring young women who “served drinks, provided massages, and offered companionship” to the poker players, in exchange for a “tax” on their tips. Arenas is just one of six defendants accused of having a role in putting all of this together.

I'm told Arenas is a bit of a showman. Did he put any of his own keys on these poker games?

It wouldn't be a Gilbert Arenas production if he didn't. The federal indictment features a picture of a poker table with the words Arenas Poker Club emblazoned across it, as well as an image of Arenas raising his arms in celebration on a basketball court.

If it was the Arenas Poker Club, why are there five other defendants?

For various alleged misdeeds. This is probably the situation with the most going on:

[Yevgeni] Gershman, an Israeli citizen, also is charged along with Valentina Cojocari, 35, of Woodland Hills, with three additional counts—conspiracy to commit marriage fraud, marriage fraud, and making a false statement on an immigration document. In early 2022, Gershman conspired with Cojocari to enter into a sham marriage for the purposes of obtaining permanent legal status in the United States and linked to immigration authorities to procure legal status for Gershman, who provided financial support to Cojocari in exchange for her participation in the sham marriage.

To borrow a basketball term: Arenas was the … arena in which the games took place. One of the other defendants was the point guard. The crime of “marriage fraud” was a sixth man off the bench.

I feel like I hear Arenas' name a lot these days. Why is that?

There is an entire cottage industry of current and former NBA players who host podcasts. Some of those podcasts are good. Some are almost unbelievably bad . Arenas' is one of the most successful of its kind, with more than a million subscribers on YouTube .

I am not a week-to-week listener of Gil's Arena , but the show does wash into my social media feeds with some frequency. This is because when a former NBA player or one of their confidants has said something controversial or ridiculous on “a podcast,” it usually turns out they have said it on Arenas' podcast. Oftentimes, it's Arenas himself. Someone arguing that Steph Curry is not a generation-defining basketball player? That was Arenas . A very homophobic-sounding critique of All-NBA center Karl-Anthony Towns for having a frame “built like a whole fucking bitch”? Arenas . Comparing the South Sudanese Olympic basketball team to the Jamaican bobsledders from Cool Runnings ? Arenas . Questioning another player for missing a playoff game for the birth of his child? Arenas , although the Golden State Warriors' Draymond Green joined him in this particular project.

Arenas probably already makes a good living. Why would he do this?

I bet he does. But California income taxes on top earners are high, and Arenas has had to pay a lot of legal bills in his life. He also once forfeited $7.5 million in salary after arguing with a teammate over a card game and bringing guns into the Wizards' locker room, threatening to shoot that teammate with one of them, then watching as the teammate pointed a loaded gun directly at his face .

There is now a whole Netflix special about that 2009 scene, in case you had forgotten it.

Uh, how did he get out of that one?

After the gun standoff, Arenas was sentenced to 30 days in a halfway house and a trade to the Orlando Magic, in exchange for small forward Rashard Lewis. Arenas was already a few years removed from his time as one of the top handful of players in basketball. He last played in the NBA in 2012, then had a brief stint with the Shanghai Sharks. Several years later, he launched his media career.

Also keeping Arenas busy: He has five kids, a few of whom are star players themselves .