How to learn to say 'no' and not get angry with others: the precise techniques

Many people find it difficult to say "no" for fear of upsetting others, so much so that, according to psychologists, this is one of the most difficult, but also one of the most important things to learn in order to achieve greater personal growth.

Psychologist Olga Albaladejo commented: “Saying 'no' is one of the most complex emotional skills that exist .”

According to Brené Brown's study on vulnerability and emotional boundaries, those who manage to set clear boundaries without creating conflict have developed "emotional courage," which helps them say "no" more easily.

“The ability to stand firm in your values, without overly attacking or defending yourself ,” Brown said.

However, for some, it's not that easy. That's why psychologist Olga Albaladejo discussed the most "elegant" way to say "no" without upsetting the other person.

“Research in social neuroscience, especially Louis Cozolino's work on the social brain, shows us that when we say 'no' calmly, we activate our parasympathetic nervous system, which generates a feeling of safety in both us and the person receiving the message,” Albaladejo said.

According to the psychologist, developing this skill is of utmost importance because it can make a difference in the quality of life and the way one acts on a daily basis.

“We get angry or justify ourselves excessively when we have to say no, which would activate the (sympathetic) alarm system and, in turn, lead to defensiveness toward the other person,” Albaladejo explained.

Although some people tend to get angry with this type of response, for Albaladejo the key lies in the way it is said and how it is expressed.

According to the Center for Psychological Studies website, when a person says "no," they are avoiding and enhancing a series of factors, such as:

For the psychologist, there are some phrases that are essential for learning to deal with the discomfort of saying "no," and the best way is to do it calmly and "elegantly."

When you say "no" calmly, you not only reduce the chances of a confrontation, but you also clearly set boundaries that the other person can understand.

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