They want to make everything into a damn musical now... Have we become idiots or what?

Let's see. At what point did someone decide that absolutely everything had to be sung? Who was the genius who said, "Hey, what if we turned this good story into a musical? Because of course, what this murder, this divorce, this alien invasion... needs is choreography with LED lights and fake vibrato screams."

ENOUGH, DAMN IT!

We're experiencing an epidemic, not of viruses, but of musicals. As if the world were short on sugar, faggot performances, and people dressed in bright colors shouting out their traumas instead of going to therapy. The formula is the same: take a half-decent (or even shitty) story, add songs, put a cast with TikTok faces, and boom! You've got your damn "special event" for Prime, Netflix, or whatever platform has run out of ideas.

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Musicals are that cultural cancer that spreads like spring herpes. Before, musicals were a rare gem : you went to the theater and came out saying, "Wow, that was a great show with people who sing sad songs with real talent." It was a unique experience, a ritual. Not anymore: if your story doesn't have a musical number with a slow-motion flashback and tears that shine brighter than a politician's dignity, it's worthless.

A drug series? A musical! A funeral? A musical! A breakup? Make it a musical! But with choreography, purple lights, and fog to make it clear it's sad, but artistic.

Even "The House of Famous People" will be set to music at any moment : with Wendy singing "The Betrayal of the Week" while Poncho dances with the house's damn dog. Nothing can stop us now.

What the hell is happening to us? The thing is, everything now has to be contained. And if you've already told the story once, why not tell it 17 more times? In short, viewers are like Pavlov 's dogs: you give them a catchy song, a retro beat, a "Wes Anderson with depression" aesthetic, and they're already screaming at the screen, believing it's art. But what it is is a phony disguise for something that had no substance to begin with.

Lots of production, little substance. Lots of smoke, little meat. Lots of glitter , but when it comes down to it, the plot is worth as much as a used napkin at a roadside diner.

I just finished watching “Lies, the Series” and I realize it’s another one of those musical disasters.

That's right, I'm talking about that recent gem on Prime Video. And it's not that I have anything personal with Belinda, Regina Blandón, or the others. No. But I do have a huge problem with the absurd need to turn some cheating asshole's wake into a fucking collective karaoke. The guy dies, the exes arrive, and instead of throwing flowers at him or spitting on him, they sing to him with glitter tears and tones of María Conchita Alonso .

And you know what the worst part is? It works. We're an audience so hungry for cheap drama that we no longer ask for a good script, we just ask to be told it.

And no one is safe. Whether it's "La La Land," "Hamilton," or "High School Musical" (which has already spawned three generations). They're even putting music to wars. I wouldn't be surprised to see:

“Chernobyl: The Musical.”

—Boom, boom, boom, the radiation has arrived!

With Stalin rapping and the Soviets dancing in a spiral.

EITHER:

“World War II: The Musical”

—Hitler crying while singing in German with violins in the background, while Churchill responds in jazz.

Don't fuck with me.

But there are culprits like those who don't pay their bills: the platforms.

Netflix, Prime, Disney, HBO... They've all jumped on the music bandwagon. Because it's cheaper to slap a soundtrack and a little dancing on a mediocre story than to write something with substance. Sure, you add color, a sparkly filter, and voila! You can sell it as a "creative and emotional proposal." Emotional balls.

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It was emotional watching your ex make out with another guy at your best friend's party. This is performative content for weak-minded people who believe singing is deeper than acting.

And the actors? Now they also have to sing, dance, and do the splits with a pained expression.

Actors don't act anymore. Now they do triple somersaults, cry, sing, drop their pants, and dance on top of a fountain to get your likes . And many of them don't even sing well. But there they are: singing off-key with all their heart and soul, because you have to "express emotions." What if you acted better, dude? What if you sat down and cried without a saxophone solo?

But no. Now they're all complete artists. Completely capable of making fools of themselves, yes. What's next? Putting the fucking Constitution to music?

Article 1: All human beings... must sing with dignity and autotune.

Article 2: You cannot discriminate... but you can take a double take while demanding.

Article 3: Education will be secular, free, and with a musical performance at the end of the school year.

We're just a few steps away from seeing the Pope providing music for the Mass: "The Body of Christ... with a remix and a resident DJ."

Conclusion? Let them all go sing to their mothers.

No, I don't hate musicals. I hate that they want to turn everything into a musical. That you can't watch a fucking story anymore without someone standing on a table and singing their childhood trauma under strobe lights.

You want to sing? Great. But don't dress it up as "narrative innovation." Have the guts to say, "We don't know how to tell this, so let's get everyone singing and see if people can't tell the script sucks."

Good musicals exist, of course they do. But not every TV series, movie, biopic, or potato commercial needs to be one.

So, platforms of the world: if you're going to make another musical, at least make it a good one. And if not, just shut up... and let us watch something in silence for once. But as always, this is my never-ever humble opinion... and what do you think?

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