Psychology: 5 questions introverts can no longer hear
"Why are you so shy?" is just one of the questions introverts often hear. Here are four more things they're constantly asked – and they're usually just annoying.
Many people have a certain image of an introvert: extremely shy, easily overwhelmed socially, and very quiet. And yes, these attributes can apply to introverts – but equally to more extroverted people. The key difference between the personality types is that introverts gain energy primarily from time alone, and being with others often drains their energy – even if they like these people and generally enjoy the encounter.
Extroverts, on the other hand, can often spend unlimited amounts of time with others without becoming particularly exhausted. Most people, by the way, aren't 100 percent introverted or extroverted, but rather lie somewhere between these two poles on the spectrum.
However, there are often misunderstandings surrounding this topic, and extroverted people in particular often have a misconception about what goes on inside introverts and what defines them. This results in questions like these, which introverts have to ask themselves again and again.
Prejudices + Co.: These 5 questions annoy introverts 1. "Why are you so shy?"Let's start with the most common example. Many people believe that being introverted means being shy. In other words, introverts are afraid of social interaction and therefore avoid it at all costs. While that may be true in isolated cases, it's more common for introverts to know how much energy it can take to be around and talk to others—especially people they don't know well.
Therefore, they choose very consciously how much time and energy they want to invest in such interactions. A large party with lots of guests can be fun for them, but it certainly also takes a lot of energy out of introverts. If they therefore withdraw from time to time and tend to observe what's going on, it doesn't necessarily mean they're shy—it just means they know their own needs well and act accordingly.
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Spoiler alert: Most introverts are rarely bored. They always find something to do to pass the time—even, and especially, alone. According to a study on introvert psychology, these people often have a tendency to "focus on their inner world, such as thoughts and feelings."
While extroverts usually need a lot of external stimulation, introverts don't need much to have fun and feel good. Their own company is usually enough for them. They are often perfectly content at home, reading a good book, watching their favorite series (for the seventh time), or pursuing a creative hobby.
3. "Why are you so quiet?"The answer to this question is usually: "Because I have nothing to say." To dispel the misconception: Not all introverts are quiet. Some may even participate particularly actively in a group conversation, while others tend to stay quiet in a group setting but can chatter like a waterfall in a one-on-one conversation.
The crucial questions are whether the interaction is beneficial to the introverted person and whether they have something meaningful to contribute. Because if there's one thing introverts hate, it's superfluous small talk. Conversations that add no value and things that are just said for the sake of saying something. Instead, they often prefer to hold back and save their energy for interacting with people they feel comfortable with.
4. "Don't you have any friends?"Yes, of course introverts have friends too. After all, humans are social beings who need interaction and community. But introverts often don't have a huge circle of friends, preferring to spend quality time with individuals who are good for them. And yes, usually fewer than many extroverts. But that doesn't mean introverts don't have friends—they're just very selective about who they let into their lives and who they give their energy to.
5. "Why don't you like people?"Another misconception: Introverts hate people and always want to be alone. It's generally true, of course, that most introverts spend more time alone than many extroverts. But that doesn't mean they don't like people per se. It's just that most people take more energy than they're willing to give.
Contrary to popular belief, introverts often have particularly deep friendships or romantic relationships because they are able to commit deeply to a person. They abhor anything superficial, and therefore their motto is usually: quality over quantity. And ultimately, behind this lies a deep love for other people—not hatred.
mbl Brigitte
brigitte
